Leah Farmer

Personal perspectives on faith, literature, and life.

A lot can happen in a year…

On Christmas Eve I was thinking about Mary the mother of Jesus and how at that 1st Christmas she might have thought “Wow…life changes so quickly and sometimes things you could never imagine happening, just do.” I made a quick mental list of things that might have been different for Mary that 1st Christmas as opposed to 12 months earlier:

A year ago she’d been a teenage girl planning a wedding
….now she was married and a mother

A year ago she’d had a good reputation
…now she was likely whispered about regularly in her hometown

A year ago she’d had very little in common with her cousin Elizabeth
…now they both had newborns who had been born with a special life-plan

A year ago she’d been part of a nation of Jewish people waiting for Messiah
….now she was the mother of that Messiah

A year ago she’d likely had head knowledge about the promises of God
…now she was nursing and changing the diapers of The Promise of God

This made me think about how much has changed in my world over the past 12 months. Some of it good…and some of it not so good. Some of it expected….and some things I never could have imagined. I jotted down a quick list of the things that are different this Christmas for me.

A year ago I was on month 7 of being out of work and was feeling like a failure
…now I’m on month 6 of a job I love and am really good at

A year ago I was in year 13 of living in New Mexico and couldn’t imagine living anywhere else
…now I live in Denver and feel confident that I’ll never live in New Mexico again

A year ago I was seeing someone new and was toying with the idea of “settling”
…now I am so grateful that didn’t work and believe again that I deserve someone amazing

A year ago I was decorating my house through tears because I was fairly certain that I would lose it
…now that home has become a rental property with someone else’s decorations filling it (sigh)

A year ago I was regularly surrounded by and couldn’t have asked for a better set of girlfriends
…now I’d KILL for one really great girlfriend to grab coffee with on a regular basis

A year ago I was still very much rejected by my biological brothers
…now I couldn’t care less because really for the first time I have “brothers”  

A year ago I ate meat at almost every meal
…now meat and animal products are not a part of everyday life

A year ago I had two healthy Dwelling groups meeting in my home and I was writing regularly
…now I don’t lead and don’t write (yikes!)

A year ago I was 55 pounds heavier, living under a huge weight of obligation and failing to do for myself
…now I’m 55 pounds lighter, not doing anything out of obligation, and put myself back on the list

A year ago I was baffled by God’s plan for my life
…now I’m baffled by God’s plan for my life (laughter and sighs)

There are so many more things I could list. Including a list of vampires that have moved out of my life and a list of new life-giving friends that have come in to take their places. I could go on and on about where my head has been (good and bad) emotionally over the past 12 months but instead I just know that even when I have doubts, God has not forgotten me. And I have not forgotten me. My natural instinct to survive kicked in last year and survive I did. Some would say I’ve even gone beyond survival to thriving…and on a good day I would agree.

This year I am going to remember that things can change so quickly. Just when you are convinced that nothing will ever change and that you will always be stuck in whatever situation you are in or that things are going to turn out badly…CHANGE HAPPENS. LIFE HAPPENS. GOD HAPPENS.

Just watch and see…

3 Comments

  1. Holly O'Sullivan

    I am so happy that you are happy and thriving. I’m so happy that in the midst of all these changes you can reflect and see God happening. He does!! He happens every moment,but it takes a true child of His to know it and feel it and believe it. Life is hard. Life really blows sometimes. But it’s in those quiet moments when you sit and reflect and swell in God’s presence that life is totally fulfilled. I love you sweet LeLe.

  2. hippychristiangirl

    I think “totally fulfilled” is a stretch and I’m not convinced God is in the business of ensuring that. And I also KNOW things about myself and God based on past experience even when I don’t FEEL it. I’m not ashamed to admit that it doesn’t always feel right or good or like he’s doing what he has promised…but I’ve known him long enough to trust him and I’ve trusted him long enough to stay the course when I have doubts or when things suck and he feels far away.

  3. L

    these are the kind of end of year reflections that encourage me. may you find even greater blessings in this coming year! (including more time to write.)

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