As I mentioned in my post about Wandering…I am obviously in a time of transition. Certain things…namely my responsibilities at work…get firmer every day. While other things…the being alone…feel more fluid and changing. I am in the middle places…and I’m alone in it…even when I have others around me.
I am between my beautiful West Seattle town house with all the windows and my amazing flat in Vasastan with all the windows
I am in between feelings of joyful adventure and complete exhaustion…daily, hourly, sometimes minute by minute
I am happy and filled with joy while also melancholy and longing for anything familiar
I am certain of how good I am at my work and overwhelmed by the sheer expectation of it all
I am a curiosity and a mystery to others yet those taking real time to get to know me are few and far between
I am missing what was in one relationship and eager for what might be in something new
I am all alone in the middle places and yet I know I am not alone. I am reminded that my people are always with me…in my heart, in the energy and prayers they send, in the lightness that comes over me when I see a new text, an IM, or a Marco Polo post. I am reminded that here there are people who want me to feel at home and find my success. And I know…without knowing who or what to call what it is…I know that there is something bigger than me that seeks my ultimate good, loves me, and is on my side. That Spirit is Holy and it joins with all the energy that my community far and wide offers me and reminds me that I am alone and not alone.
I am reminded of David Whyte’s lovely poem Everything is Waiting for You: