Over the past few weeks (okay…maybe months) I’ve been noticing more and more than I am quirky in my spirituality, introversion, style, and humor. Quirkier than some…less quirky than others.
The funny part of this is that I’ve always had interesting friends but thought of myself as the vanilla friend. Don’t get me wrong…not cheap uninteresting vanilla…but the good stuff…vanilla bean or something. Maybe vanilla with a little touch of caramel running through the middle. More likely vanilla with some nuts infused. 😉
Perhaps my quirky is more evident in Seattle than it was in Denver or New Mexico because I am a Southwesterner through and through and there is a marked difference in culture here. In New Mexico EVERYONE is a little quirky. It isn’t called the land of manana for nothing. People move at their own pace, wear what they want, and are pretty open communicators. I grew up in New Mexico. I know…I LITERALLY grew up in California. But after some sheltered years in my family home and then in Tennessee, I went to New Mexico as a kid (21) and left (with much dismay) as a grown up (35).
And now I find myself in Seattle. A place where the Nordic and Asian cultural norms run deep. There is a strong sense of family and community…but getting into the walls of those families and communities is difficult. There is even a term for the difficulty one finds in making friends or fitting in upon moving to Seattle. The Seattle Freeze… http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Seattle%20Freeze
NOTE: The above paragraph does not in any way mean that I don’t LIKE Seattle. It means that I, with my quirkitude, am struggling and grateful that I’m not the only one! 😉
So back to my quirkiness…
Here…I sometimes say something and then watch the faces of those around me as if they are wondering if I’m serious about whatever thing I’ve just said. I noticed that this week at work when I hung my vision board it received a few odd ball looks and a couple very pointed “What is that?” questions. Or when I mentioned I’d bought a Living Social coupon to try out a Isolation Tank…blank stares. Nothing gets more oddball looks than when I say “I go to a Bible study on Monday nights.”
On the other hand my online community hasn’t been that much more accepting. I have many friends from college or other very religious friends who’s gasps are practically audible when I talk about Yoga or use the word meditation or drop a swearword in my blog or status update.
Here’s what I know…I’m a quirky, spiritual, nutty, honest, relational yet deeply wounded individual who has determined to be herself…come hell or high water. I am an open book and try very hard to be genuine and transparent about what I believe and what I have doubts about and what I do to celebrate life.
No one…and that includes you dear reader…has to like me. And even if they do…and that again includes you dear reader…they sure as shit don’t have to understand me. Some days I barely understand me.
I want so much to be in community with people…but not at the expense of my personal integrity or my unique voice. And not enough to allow another human soul to criticize, harm, or attempt to step into the intimacy I share with God and cast .
I love people with every bit of myself…and I am learning to love myself each and every day. I will continue to be quirky. I will continue to try things that make you all look at me like I’m nuts. I will continue to surprise even myself with the inappropriateness of a joke, crying at the “wrong” time, or doing something unexpected. Enjoy the ride with me. Enjoy watching the ride. Or change the channel.
Either way I send you blessings of peace, love, and hope that you look up in wonder at God stepping into the mess of your life. 🙂
Queen of the Quirk