Leah Farmer

Personal perspectives on faith, literature, and life.

Friday, December 27th, 2013

Good Insurance

This morning I got up and went to the eye doctor. I discovered that Amazon…bless their frugal hearts…pays for new frames and lenses every 12 months. So I got to get a couple pairs of glasses and use my flexible spending money. What a huge blessing!

Hair with Erin

Two things happen every time I got to get my hair done at Radar Hair and Records. I leave with an amazing cut/color and I adore sweet Erin more and more. She is always fun to talk to. Has a genuinely kind soul. Is lovely. And makes me feel lovely. So grateful to have found such a sweet spirit!

Books

In my quest to reach my goal of reading 65 books this year I have been buried in some amazing books. All of which have been either on my nightstand or on my list for MONTHS. As I sit and engross myself in them, I am reminded why I love to read so much. And I am reminded that all the television in the world doesn’t ever add up. DOn’t get me wrong…I love to watch a few shows but sometimes I go on a quest for MINDLESS shows when really what I seek is deep in the pages of a novel or a memoir or a non fiction book on a topic I love.

Unfamiliar Desire

Tonight I sent a text to my best friend that said “Something may be wrong with me. I’m contemplating going to church on Sunday.” The desire to step foot inside a church has long left me. Don’t get me wrong. I love Jesus (and yes…I cuss a little as my mug says) but I am struggling with the notion of being identified with what passes for Christianity today to my friends of different backgrounds. I am struggling with what it means to be a person of faith in a community where the loudest brand of that is Mars Hill…and my desire to cringe and run from that element is strong. I have long struggled to forgive myself for staying too long in places or trying to help plant churches that didn’t value the gifts God has given the other half of the church. For the record…what I don’t struggle with is guilt over not going to church. And yet tonight I felt the inclination to do a little web search for churches. We’ll see if it actually translates into my going…since going to a new church has always ranked on the awkward scale right up there with a gynecological exam (…because I’m HORRIBLE at small talk in awkward and intimate situations and can be counted on to say really ridiculous things). We shall see. All that to say…I am grateful for the lack of judgement and inquisition I am giving myself for having this unfamiliar desire and for my willingness to see where it goes without judgement, shame, or fear. :)

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