Leah Farmer

Personal perspectives on faith, literature, and life.

Letting Go (originally from a different blog)

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can’t do it for someone else
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it’s the realization I can’t control another
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it’s to make the most of myself
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies
To let go is not to be protective,
it’s to permit another to face reality
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future
To let go is to fear less and love more
and
To let go and to let God, is to find peace!

 —— author unknown

I read this today and then had this internal dialogue:

Control: The person who wrote this poem does not know the people I have in my life and therefore has no concept of just how poor their decision-making is.

Peace: This poem is true

C: Okay…but then who holds up the mirror of accountability?

P: Well…not me since we would be busy “helping” someone else and not looking at our own junk.

C: Yes, but these people are making dangerous hurtful decisions that affect more than just themselves

P: Yes they are

C: Uh…So what are you going to do about that?

P: Nothing

C: Well that seems useless

P: Ask yourself something…Has being in the middle of other people’s business change the outcome? Have they stopped making poor decisions? Do people who continually make bad decisions want your input or wisdom?

C: No, no, and no. But that’s not the point.

P: Then what is?

C: I want to say “They need to know they are wrong” but you are going to disagree with that aren’t you?”

P: *smile* Why would I disagree?

C: Because you’d say that these are not people with a mental disability or suicidal tendencies. They are people who already know that their decisions are often bad/selfish/stupid/destructive. And my getting in the way/being resentful/thinking they’re stupid isn’t helping.

P: I’m very smart aren’t I?

C: Yeah sure…but…*long pause*

P: But what?

C: What do I do?

P: Love.
And where you are not prepared to love…be still.
And where you are not prepared to be still…rant only in your own mind.
And where you are not prepared to rant only in your own mind…rant to God.
God will love when you cannot.
Stop.
Listen.
Wait.
And when the Divine offers love you may be asked to move into action as hands and feet…but do nothing until compelled and only when you can do it with Love.

C: *silence*

P: That’s better! 

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