Leah Farmer

Personal perspectives on faith, literature, and life.

O Days: Leaving

Today is the day. It’s finally here. I leave the US today to live in Stockholm for a while.

Everyone has asked if I’m anxious or nervous. The truth is…I feel a lot of things. I feel (and have been feeling) all of these emotions at the same time and each one individually from time to time.

I am excited. While for many people this has felt like a fast change, for me it has been going on since the first conversations in June and definitely since we were deep in negotiations in August.

I am eager. After a month of transitioning out of my job and another month of being available while planning and executing the move, I need to work. I’m a creature of habit and need the mind challenge of the work.

I am nervous. I haven’t felt much nervousness but the last week my nerves have really been around the things that could go wrong that I don’t have any way of knowing. I also know that there will be things tied to this change and move that I don’t anticipate being hard, that will ultimately be hard.

I am proud. I feel a great sense of courage and determination to do this new and exciting thing. I feel proud of my resolve to push myself outside of my comfort zone to take on this new job and such a big move.

I am sad. There is so much I love about my life in Seattle, including the city itself. I am going to miss my friends and family and the ease with which I can see them while living in the US. It won’t be as simple, but it will be meaningful.

I am happy. Or at least I will be once the travel stuff for this day is over. I will be happy for the cats and I to get a break from the stress of the move and have a chance to catch our breath before the next (last) move to our place.

A few more hours. A few last loose ends. Then Uber, Plane, Uber.

Away we go!

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