Leah Farmer

Personal perspectives on faith, literature, and life.

Day 3: Tone Policing

Tone policing reinforces white supremacist norms of how BIPOC (black, indigenous, people of color) are “supposed” to show up.

This chapter was interesting for me because I believe that tone policing often also happens to women in tech. I have been called direct and aggressive and been asked to “tone it down”. I have been told that I might be right about my position but that if I don’t change my approach, then I won’t be able to “bring others on the journey.”

Given how often I experience this, I can’t even imagine how often this must happen to BIPOC. I’m also very aware that the idea of being aggressive or intimidating, while tough on me, is even more hurtful to people of color because it is seen as menacing or even part of their culture.

This is something that when I see it happening to others I can be louder about what is happening. I can call out what I’m seeing and be very aware of the impact that it has on influence and opportunities.

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