Leah Farmer

Personal perspectives on faith, literature, and life.

Tap tap tap…

My poor sweet Blog has suffered.

She is silent and certainly feeling unloved. Even as I type these words she is groaning at little because the very tap tap tapping of the key strokes hurts her long dormant muscles and legs and joints. She has been lying still for so long, it as if I have called her out of hibernation and she isn’t quite sure winter is over.

Hell…I’m not sure this long winter of no words is over yet either.

She is not the only thing in my life that has been roused from hibernation. Long dormant trauma has been triggered by some people and circumstances that I’ve allowed into my life. And while that is happening, the written word is hard to come by.

And moreover, words don’t feel safe. They feel like ammunition. They feel like they can be used against me by the same people who make me feel unsafe. They feel like an opening for more hostility, more hatred, and more hurt.

And Words…my dearly beloved friend, Words…should never be the thing I fear. Words have been my friend, my confidant, my partner throughout time.

I’ll trust you again Words…I promise. We go too far back for me to deny your right to creation on the air and on the page.

And don’t you worry little Blog of mine.

I love you. I love to write words in you and all over you. I love how you make my readers laugh. I love how you make them smile. I love when we tell them stories that call into the deep places in their hearts and remind them of who they are. I love to tap tap tap words on you little Blog until sentences are born that sail off my fingers and out onto the open waters of the minds of the Lovelies who read my writing.

I feel you stretching under the weight of a page of writing, dear Blog. I feel you trying hard not to smile and dare to believe that I am back for good. I feel you slowly beginning the siren call to art that is you calling to me. Calling to me to make Words. Tap tap tap.

I’m here. I see you Blog. You are real.

I’m paying attention Words. I know you are there at the ready.

We will survive…and live to write another day.

Tap tap tap.

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