Authors Note: This is the first edition of “Things I Can’t Do…Yet”. I say first edition, because the chances that I’m likely to find 10 to 100 more things that I can’t fucking figure out are super high.
For those of you who don’t know, I’ve recently moved to Stockholm, Sweden for a job. Before you read anything into what I’m about to write…I did this on purpose, I love it here, and I’m so very happy to be here.
Well then…now that I’ve said all that…let’s begin!
Things I Can’t Do…Yet:
- Weather: If someone here says “It’s 10 degrees outside,” that means absolutely nothing to me. I assume is cold-ish since it’s Stockholm in winter. And I assume that I’m probably dressed close enough to appropriate to survive.
- Time: Who knew that everyone would speak in military time in Sweden? You did? Oh…then why the hell didn’t you tell me? All conversations about meeting after noon go like this: Person: Can you meet at 15:30? Me: Ummmm <holds up fingers and counts forward from 12, then finally looks up to the astonishment of the person who is literally thinking “how the hell is this person in charge of a team here??> Sure. See you then.
- Distance: OH MY GOSH! YOU GUYS! THERE IS A LE CREUSET OUTLET 8 KILOMETERS AWAY!!! I wish I knew how far away that is. Good thing I know how much a 5K is…but only because I was always afraid all those 5Ks I participated in were 5 miles. So I’ve got a basic idea. By the way…all my life I’ve used football fields to measure distances. Guess what no one cares about here? You guessed it! The little thing we call football is oft met with snorts of derision. <GO HAWKS!!!>