Leah Farmer

Personal perspectives on faith, literature, and life.

When PTSD Shows Up…

The thing about PTSD is that it doesn’t give two shits about your justification for choosing to be in a toxic environment or your inability to give up on people or your fear of failure. PTSD is coming to “protect” you no matter what reasons you give it for not needing its intervention. PTSD is going to show up when you allow people…people who do not value you, your contributions, or humanity…to step into your atmosphere and make you sick again.

PTSD doesn’t fuck around. It doesn’t play. It shows up to get your attention, keep you safe, and put your body, mind, and soul in check until you can step in and put yourself first again.

I’ve allowed myself to be mistreated…trying to get along…and attempts to do the right thing for everyone else. And PTSD shows up in full fucking force when I allow others to victimize, bully, and disrespect me. I know this. So I don’t get to be surprised when I’m on my ass, curled up in bed, and wanting to quit life because of the circumstances I find myself in.

Hopefully…hopefully…hopefully…tomorrow is a new day.

 

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