Leah Farmer

Personal perspectives on faith, literature, and life.

I belong to myself…

In times past obligation and responsibility and fear drove me to only consider the other person or people first, obligation/responsibly/propriety second, and myself somewhere in distant 3rd or beyond.

Lately my decisions have become so much easier. And seriously I mean SO much easier. I look at circumstances and say: “Do I want to do this?” “Is this someone or something that I’m invested in?” “Am I interested?” “Is this how I want to spend my time?” “Is there anything I would rather be doing than this and if so, can I take steps to do that instead?” “Will this make me happy?”

I can ask these questions because I belong to myself. I love myself. I am my own friend. I’VE GOT THIS!

Valentines Day date or not…I belong to myself

Responsible member of the family or not…I belong to myself

Leader of the team or not…I belong to myself 

Even in belonging to others…and I do…I belong to my sister and my nibs and my very best friend and her darling teenagers and my sassy prayer partner and her sweet family and my Colorado nieces and their parents and the South African soul-sister and her Royal mum and my kits and so many others beloved friends and cousins and aunties…even in belonging to all of them it is by my choice that I give myself away. That I offer myself up. Because I am the only one who can give anything of this person. I am the keeper of the calendar and the time and the finances and the words and the love. I belong to myself.

I do not belong to the crowd. Or to the church. Or only to my family of origin. Or to the latest in a line of love interests. Or to my boss or to the company whose name is on my paycheck. Or to any group I’ve served.

I belong to MYSELF.

And I am a good keeper, protector, lover, and friend to me.

I give myself away. But I do it at my own bidding. I determine the rules about me. I set the boundaries. If you get what you ask for or need…take pride…because I have deemed you trustworthy. I do not feel obligated or beholden to you or anyone else. If you get a piece of me…it is because I’ve put a bow on that piece, stuck a gift label to the side, and offered it as a gift. Enjoy. You are so very welcome!

I belong to myself. 

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