The Courage to be Disliked

I am an Enneagram 2 with a wing 3. If that means anything to you, you now know that I want to be LOVED. Adored would be better. But dismissed or devalued is like being invisible. And disliked…can feel like death while breathing.

Yes…I know how pathetic that sounds.

But it also means that I am a pretty damn good caretaker, leader, visionary, and driver of all the things in the right direction. But I saw this book and wanted to read it to get some tips on being more open to other people disliking me. I WANT to believe the phrase “What other people think of me is none of my business” but damn if I find it fascinating and devestating to think about.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some assholes in the world that I’m fine with being hated by. Mostly because I think they hate me because they ACTUALLY love me and can’t beleive I hate them. (see what I did there?)

But this book fucked me up. It is basically a primer on the theory of individual psychology of Alfred Adler. He is a contemporary of Freud and Jung…and I didn’t know he existed (Sorry Al) until I read this book. So much of the book is about not taking on other people’s tasks, being okay with choosing your own way, and finding freedom in being true to yourself. It was a lot to swallow. And I still don’t know what to think. BUT…there is a lot of freedom in this viewpoint. And a lot of ownership…no one else to blame or put things on if you are unhappy.

So do I recommend it? Only if you are ready to be shook and to give up your trauma.