The Inbetween

A little over 6 weeks ago I left my job at a Berlin startup. Here’s a breakdown of how I’ve spent my inbetween time…

• Getting a lot of sleep…I had no idea how tired I was
• Having coffee, lunch, drinks, dinner with people that I like that ask me…focus on “people that I like”
• Reading…lots and lots of reading. I have read 20 books since the first day of my break
• Swimming at local lakes
• Writing…I have the outline and forward for a new book concept
• Interviewing…I have no idea what I want to do next, so just talking to people seems like the best way forward. I have gotten to meet some really lovely people this way!
• Coaching…I have a couple regular clients that I coach and have done some adhoc coaching as well
• Baking…I have made some pretty good scones and cookies
• Sitting in the sun…like a cat. Nothing more. Nothing less.
• Therapy…I’ve kept up my regular therapy schedule. Once a week, no matter what
• Meditation & Reiki…I have restarted these elements of my life. And I hope I never go backwards to not having them in my life
• Yoga…slowly slowly getting a little yoga practice started again
• Sorting…I’m tackling a space here and there that needs to be sorted and making decisions about what I would move to my next home or not. Yes…I am moving. No…I don’t know where or when.

One thing that isn’t on the list but is instead interwoven in all of it is grief.

Aside from the death of a loved one or a divorce, job change is one of the biggest reasons humans can experience grief. Even when, like in my case, leaving is a choice, we can still go through the various stages of grief.

In my case, I have felt both grief and regret a lot over these past weeks. Grief over what might have been. Grief from missing my team. Grief for a change in a beloved routine. But also regret…which is not an emotion I normally give in to. But in this season as I lean into whatever my feelings are, I feel regret that I ever took this job. That is not to say I regret the good work I did or the people I led…just that “If I’d known then…” I would have NOT proceeded to take this role but would have done something else.

The key thing about the Inbetween time for me is to feel whatever comes up. Deal with whatever emotion, thought, fear, regret, joy, etc. that comes my way without trying to stuff it, numb it, or avoid it. Instead, I have learned during this season to sit with whatever comes my way. To journal about it if needed. To discuss it with my Inner Circle when it helps.

Somewhere in front of me is a great new opportunity. With new challenges. And lovely new people (and probably also some terrible ones). And when the time and opportunity is right, I will happily jump on it.

Until then…I think I’ll go sit in the sun and take a nap. (My two cats love this particular part of the daily agenda!)

xx